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GOD
Posts: 5
Location: OHIO
Joined: 12.08.05
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| Posted on 12-08-2005 02:55 |
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I'm working on a Batman 2 Fan Fiction/script This is just a snippet from it
Constructive Criticism only please!!!!!!!
Inside one of Jonathan Crane?s experiment rooms
Inside this room we see a man sitting in a chair strapped down securely. It is Bruce Wayne. We also see a man pacing the room slowly. It is Jonathan Crane.
?You and I have something in common Mr. Wayne? said Crane smoothly
?Or should I say Batman? said Crane just above a whisper. Bruce?s head jerked up quickly.
?What we have in common Mr. Wayne is that we both use fear as our weapon? said Crane as he picked up his mask off of a desk.
?I have dealt with fear all my life? Crane said. He put on the mask
?Now it is your turn? he said his voice sounding more sinister. He picked up a canister.
?It?s your turn to succumb to the fear? Crane said sadistically as he sprayed Bruce with the fear gas. Bruce tried to get away but he was strapped down too tight. He inhaled the gas.
From Bruce?s P.O.V. we see that the hallucination has begun. His vision is blurry.
?Succumb to the fear? Crane repeats. It sounds very drowsy because of the hallucination.
We see a black & white visual of a newspaper. On the front page it reads
?Former Gotham District Attorney found Slain? with a picture of Rachel Dawes on the front page.
We see a brief flash of Bruce?s father Thomas saying ?You failure? in a scolding manner.
In a coffin we see Alfred Pennyworth.
In Ra?s Al Ghuls? castle we see Bruce fighting a ninja. Bruce is obviously winning. Suddenly, another ninja comes from out of nowhere. Bruce is winning but barely. Two more ninjas come from nowhere Bruce is clearly overwhelmed but he is putting up a hell of a fight. Several more ninjas come from nowhere and they are taking Bruce down. The ninjas hold Bruce down as Ra?s Al Ghul approaches. He pulls out a sword and says ?You could?ve been great? He brought down the sword and!!!!
?Ah!? Bruce woke up in a cold sweat. He looked at the clock and it was 4:39 PM. He lied back down.
HUMMERS BOW DOWN
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| Author |
RE: Snippet |
DrCrane
Posts: 48
Location: Wiscconsin
Joined: 31.07.05
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| Posted on 14-08-2005 13:17 |
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Wow! That's really good. I like ?Former Gotham District Attorney found Slain?. I'm also working on a script for the sequel, but I have no idea when I'll be done.
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