Hey guys. I'm not really a writter and I've never really done a fanfic before, so this is kind of new for me. In fact, I've never written a single story in my life. But I've had this story in my head and I decided I'd write it down. It turned out ok-- not great, but ok-- so I'm sharing it with y'all to see what you think. Critiques and comments are appreaciated.
Vengeance
So you live in Gotham City…
You live in Gotham City and you need some money. So what do you do?
What do normal people do for money? Normal people, living in a normal city? They get a job. They get a job in a cubicle or at a Starbucks or a McDonalds or as a janitor. They get a job with a steady paycheck so they can pay their bills and keep their house and feed their family.
But You? You’re not a normal person. You live in Gotham. There aren’t many jobs in Gotham because Gotham’s economy is in the tank. McDonalds? Starbucks? They don’t want to open chains in Gotham. Big businesses? Businesses don’t do well in Gotham unless they’re crime related.
So you live in Gotham. And you need money. And there are no jobs.
So what do you do? You do something stupid. You borrow money. You borrow money so you can make rent on your crappy one room apartment. You borrow money from someone you shouldn’t borrow money from. And now you don’t have a job, you don’t have money and you owe a loan shark.
He says if you don’t pay him, he’ll hurt you. He says if you don’t give you the money, he’ll break your girlfriend’s face. He says you have one week and then he grabs your hand and breaks your pinky to show you he’s serious. And now you don’t have a job, you don’t have money, you owe a loan shark and who is going to kill you So what do you do?
You’ve got a this friend. This friend who thinks he smart. He says he knows this bank. It’s in a pretty bad neighborhood and it’s got bad security. Yes, it’s breaking the law. But it’s easy money and no one will get hurt. This is how you end up robbing a bank.
This is how you end up shooting a 34 year old father of three named Bill, just because he’s a security guard. This is how you end up shooting a 23 year old newlywed bank teller named Dana because she reached for the silent alarm.
This is how you end up on a killing spree.
So you’ve killed two people. You’re standing over the bodies. You stare down at their empty eyes. You stare at the gun in your hand and stand there in the middle of the most horrible act of your life while your friend rushes to the vault. He forces the manager to open it. He stuffs money a bag and gives the bag to you. He tells you have to run because the cops are coming.
You get in the getaway car. You speed off into the night as police sirens begin to blare in the distance. You’re blocks away by the time they make it. They’re too late. They’re far too late. The cops will come into a bank with two dead bodies an whole room of witnesses who can’t identify you because you wore a mask. You’re friend tells you that you’re safe.
But you’re not safe. You got away from the cops. But not from the guilt. You know what you’ve done and it is eating away at you. You remember the look of horror on the Dana’s face when you pulled the gun on her. You remember the pools of blood as Bill clenched his gut, dying on the floor. You will remember this for the rest of your life.
And then the streetlights disappear. The streets vanish. All you see is a thick, black shadow. Your friend struggles to control the car blind…
And then a brick wall appears 10 feet from your car.
Everything moves in slow motion as your car collides with the side of a building. The stolen getaway car doesn’t have airbags, so your head whips forward into the dashboard and you blackout.
A few minutes later you pull your head up from the dash and wipe blood out of your eyes. Your friend hit his head on the steering wheel. He has blood all over his face, but he’s still conscious. The two of you stumble out of the crashed car with the bags of money. You hear sirens again. They’re getting closer. Someone must have called about the crash. You rush through alleyways before the cops can get there.
You run through a maze of dark, dirty alleyways until you come to a dead end. You start to turn back when you hear a noise. It sounds like an animal. Like a growl. But it’s not a cat. It’s not a dog. It’s big. It’s demonic. You look to your friend to see if he hears the same thing. You see him standing, frozen in terror. You hear the growl coming closer. In your panic you rush to a panic escape. Your friend stands frozen. You shout at him to run. He snaps out of it and follows you up the fire escape.
You make it to the roof of the building. You hear a scream behind you and look back for your friend. He’s gone. He disappeared. And then you hear something land behind you. Something heavy. Something large.
You look back and see a shadow. A tall, horrible shadow with glowing white eyes. You fire your gun—the one you killed Dana and Bill with— wildly at the shadow. It lurches back with the impact of the bullets. But then it stands back up unscathed. You fire again and again until you run out of bullets. The shadow still stands. You drop the gun. Before it can hit the ground, the shadow rushes from across the roof toward you.
Two hands stretch out of the shadow and grasp you by the collar. It lifts you up into the air puls you toward it, snarling. As it holds you up, you stare in horror into it’s glowing white eyes and you see rage... You look into it’s rage filled eyes and you understand. This creature is the guilt you feel for every thing you’ve ever done wrong. This creature is the anger of those who were killed without reason. This is the justice they deserve.
This is vengeance. And you will remember it for the rest of your life.
Never start with the head; the victim gets all fuzzy!
R.I.P. Heath
RE: Vengence (my first fan-fic & short story) -
Posted on 23-04-2010 11:14
Posts: 395 Location: New Hampshire, usa Joined: 23.12.08
WOW...Raz is this is excellent!! Just truly & wonderfully excellent. You just described Gotham so wonderfully, I couldn't put it any other way myself. This was just so genius! ^_^
You should write more often!!
If you need anything, just ask. I'll help you in anyway I possibly can if you'd like.
Other than that, this was just awesome!!
Hello Gotham. I'm Erin. Ozzy Cobblepot's Biggest Fan. Love you Pengy!
Betcha never, betcha never, betcha never thought we'd get this far.
Betcha never, never ever, betcha never thought you'd touch my heart.
Betcha never, betcha never, betcha never thought I'd surrender.
Betcha never thought you'd ever get with me.
I betcha never thought of that.
RE: Vengence (my first fan-fic & short story) -
Posted on 23-04-2010 12:18
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